Closing out the 28 days of thankfulness...and a Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Well, it certainly is more difficult to write everyday about random prompts then I expected. That said, I will do my best to close this out. 

A talent that I have - seriously? I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue! :) Ummm, I'm a pretty good baker, I don't know if that's talent. I'll tell you a talent I would like to have - 1) I would love to be able to draw, paint, etc. I cannot for the life of me and I am jealous of the several family members who are able to do that. It fascinates me to see people draw something, pull something out of their mind and put it on paper because when I try to do that it looks like...well, not good. 2) I have never taken a musical lesson in my life but I would love to learn to play the banjo...and the piano...but the banjo. I know, weird, but whatever. I can just picture myself sitting around a campfire playing songs on my banjo while the snow falls or the starts blanket the sky.

 

A memory - well, thank God I can still remember some memories with my shot brain. I don't have a favorite memory anymore than anything else, but here's one for the season. When I was very little we used to go to my grandmother's cousin's house on Christmas Eve. Seemed like it took a day to get wherever we were going but it was most likely like 40 minutes away. This was the Austrian side of the family and Emmy always imported things for Christmas from Austria - liquor filled chocolates, my favorite pfeffernusse cookies...and the tree was covered in angel hair, and I mean covered...I'm not even sure if the tree was real or not because you couldn't see it it was so covered. After dinner everyone would actually stand around the piano in their swinging 70's caftans and leisure suits and sing carols together and then presents would be opened. She gave the best presents - one year she gave me a child size wooden piano! That was the best, I would play it over and over with the little paper key that came with it. Good times.

 

Anything about fall? Seriously? Well, if you read this then by now you are certainly aware of my life affair with all things fall - except the late heat wave we usually suffer through here in southern California. What in the world is there not to love about fall?

 

The leaves, the coolness, those days that are so blindingly bright but crisp and biting, the apples and pumpkins and cocoa. Aaahhhhhh, fall. My soul breathes deeply every fall.

 

And finally a day of thanks.

 

 

I am thankful to be here to have any holiday with my family. I'm thankful for the ones that I have had in the past. I'm working everyday to be cognizant of remembering my blessings, even and especially when it is difficult to. May all of you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

 

Day 22 - Faith, Day 23 - A Special Day in your Life and Day 24 - Jewelry

 

Goodness sakes, this has been work. Lucky for me, I wrote about faith and thankfulness a little while back so I will just direct you there.


Ugh, I am SO over picking these specific events - I have never ever liked that. Especially as introductory device, like when you are in a new class or a seminar and they say, tell your neighbor your favorite book, or band, or whatever - UGH! Anyway, a special day in my life. Hmmmm, I feel like I should be describing a Judy Blume event here. I'll pick an odd one here - I loved my 19 birthday, it was one of my favorite birthday's ever and I suppose that makes it a "special" day. I was a freshman in college and during my freshman year I lived in a suite, which was three rooms of two girls. Being an only child and just being me, I know I wasn't easy to live with, and some of the other girls had definite "quirks" also. By January, cracks were already creaking open in our suite, but for whatever reason, these girls, and some of my friends across the way, had a great celebration for me. I loved it and will always remember it!

Jewelry, or a piece of jewelry. This one was kind of interesting. I have a necklace that I have had for many many years. My mom gave it to me years ago - I will admit through many moves it has been lost and found multiple times.

 

 

It was my great-grandmother's necklace and supposedly came with her from Austria. As I recall, the story is that it was a gift from the royal family (the Hapsburgs) and is some extravagant stone. It's completely not my style, but I love the story and the lore behind it. I've never even had it appraised because I think I like the lore more than what the actual truth may be. Whatever it is, I'm thankful that I have this tangible link to that side of my family.

Day 20 - A project you did and Day 21 - A dessert

 

 

Seriously, these prompts asking me to cull the shadowy recesses of my chemofied brain to extract things about ME?? Sooooo difficult. A project I did that I am thankful for...hmmm. Okay, here's one I'm glad I did. I beleive I have discussed my disgust for high school previously, just high school itself. However, when our 10 year reunion came around, I found myself volunteering to plan it! Why?? I do not know, but I did, and I'm so glad I did. I think we had a surprising turnout for a 10 year reunion, and like I remarked a few posts back, we lost a few people right after that reunion. I'm pretty proud of myself for taking the reigns and planning that event, which definitely was a project.

 

Dessert I am thankful for?? Oh my, I so cannot pick just one, but my love for chocolate rivals my love for coffee, so anything involving chocolate, coffee, cocoa, etc. is automatically lovely. Throw in some raspberry or cherry...ooooohhhh. I love you dessert.  

Day 18 - A daily indulgence and Day 19- A trip

 

 

The only daily indulgence that I can think of, and I don't think it's an indulgence, I believe it is a necessity, is my lovely coffee. As I wrote on facebook, "ohhhh, my lovely coffee, what would I do without thee? I love you I love you, I am thankful for you, forever be near me...".

 

As far as a trip goes, I have been very fortunate to go quite a few places in my life - not as many as some, but certainly more than many. I am so grateful - I love to travel, preferably in the fall/winter. My husband and I have been snowed on, rained on - doesn't matter. To us that means less people, less crowds and not passing out from heat exhaustion. Having two small children in recent years has quashed our wanderlust slightly, and my being sick last year and this certainly scuttled some plans. We couldn't even visit our in-laws last year, well, mostly because I was having surgeries and chemo - but a plane is a great big cesspool of germs for someone with no immune system and I couldn't chance it. Boy, you do not know how much you miss something until it is forbidden to you. I was soooooo excited to get back on a plane this year just for a short trip I could have jumped for joy (but even I, at barely 5'3", am too tall to be jumping on any plane without cracking my head open). I look forward to many many trips in my future and will be extra thankful for any opportunity that comes my way.

 Somewhere in Vermont I think...



 Jack's first flight - two months old...I hope he loves to travel as much as his mama

 

I think this was outside of Prague

 

 

Day 16 - A shining moment and Day 17 - Health

A shining moment - jeez, they pick hard topics don't they? These ones that make us think back on our own good moments, those are truly difficult for me.

 

I don't know about a shining moment, but I look back at going to grad school at night when I was working full time and wonder how I ever had the energy to do that...I'm proud of myself for keeping with it and completing it, it was a great feeling when it was done, that's for sure.

Health - well, this one is interesting isn't it? My health...Aside from everything this year and last, aside from the fact that I really truly don't know my exact health status day to day and never really will again...I am pretty healthy. My doctors have all said I'm a really healthy patient who had some pretty frickin serious cancer. I am thankful that I came through it, well, cut up into pieces but relatively unscathed and without many problems at all. I am and will be drop-down-on-your-knees thankful for every clean scan I ever have and I will pray everyday to remain so. You can't ever appreciate being healthy until you aren't, it's just something that the human mind is unable to fully process until it experiences different. I am truly gratful for every day that I open my eyes.

To those who comment on my Christmas posts...

Christmas 2012

To those who have commented on my admittedly prolific liking of Christmas pages and talking about Christmas songs and basically my overall overexcitability about Christmas this year...with no malice in my heart and the best of meanings...stuff it.

I don't comment when people post 45 political posts in a day, or share 18 ramblings about how they hate Christmas. I don't comment about people and their 52 pinterest ecard posts about wine. Yet for some reason people feel compelled to comment on my sharing of what I feel is joyful...yes, it may be early - yes, I truly realize it is not Thanksgiving yet, but you know what? I effectively missed the holidays last year. I was there, but I wasn't there...I wasn't able to fully participate. I saw my kids, but didn't get to fully experience Jack's 2 year old wonder at the lights and Santa and stocking and elves. I had my two month old, but I was so busy taking care of her, and recovering from two surgeries, and going through chemo that I didn't get to soak in my baby girl's first Christmas. I didn't get to decorate, I didn't get to sing carols at church, I didn't get to feel Christmas. I didn't get the luxury of Bah Humbugging it because I was praying too hard to make it to this Christmas.

So forgive me for my giddiness, for my wanting to share the fact that I am happily and unabashedly overcelebrating the holidays this year. Forgive me my liking of many many Christmas posts, of snow and trees and wreaths and candles. Forgive me my inability to throw away any precious holiday that I am given with my children. I don't begrudge you your existence in the benign and blissful obliviousness that total health brings. I used to live there myself, but I have moved...and at my new address, you will find me overcelebrating most anything I can.

Day 14 - A life lesson and Day 15 - Charity

These are getting a bit more difficult. A life lesson. Well, I think I will go with the obvious here and talk about how this dumb, stupid cancer, which I STILL WILL NEVER EVER SAY I WAS HAPPY TO GET, has made me slow down and relax a bit, and for those that know me, that's saying a lot. I do let many many things go that I wouldn't have before, and I try very hard to remain present in each day although I'm only human. It's a work in progress.

 

I'm not quite sure what they mean by charity, if they mean were you thankful to receive charity, are you thankful for a specific charity. Unclear. But the Christmas season is upon us, and that means Angel Trees, which I do every year. I grew up relatively poor.  I was from a single parent household, did not grow up in a nice place...but one thing my mom always did, for as long as I can remember, was take an angel or two at Christmas and we would get gifts for them. I would look forward to picking an angel every year at the Fox Hills Mall...the program stopped there as I recall in the early 90s, and by then you pretty much stayed away from that mall if you didn't want to get shot while picking your jeans out at Express. I would find various programs over the years, and was involved in Toys for Tots, but then when I moved to Huntington Beach when I met my husband, my first Christmas there I discovered my church had an angel tree program and I was so excited! I still do it every year (my church gives you an angel ornament when you drop off the gifts - I have not missed one for the past 12 or 13 years and last year when I couldn't make it, I begged my friend to take my gifts for me because I needed my ornament!) and I love that they include seniors also. People forget how lonely some seniors can be, and that maybe a package of socks and a sweatshirt is so appreciated. I can't wait until the kids begin to understand what we are doing when we do this, it truly excited me to pass this tradition on to them. 

Day 12 - A job and Day 13 - A book

 

 

A job...well, I can say that the job I currently hold, stay at home mom, is by far the hardest, most difficult, demanding, stressful and chaotic job that I have ever had. I have to say I did not intentionally choose to be a stay at home mom, I was circumstantially thrown into it. I still do not believe I am very good at it. I love love love these kids to death, as you can probably tell so far, but if someone called to hire me tomorrow, I would take it in a heartbeat. But I am enjoying them and hoping that they forgive me my faults and foibles, and I am using this time to try to learn the lessons that I need to learn as well - patience, understanding, all of that zen stuff. :)

 

A book - I do not know how anyone could ever just pick one favorite book. To me that is like trying to pick a favorite photo - impossible. I can't even hazard a guess as to how many books I have read so far in my life but I have many many more to go and many to visit again. It does give me a thrill that I am now reading to Jack some of my favorite childhood books that I saved just for my future children.

 

And just FYI - I love paper books - I'm not such an ebook fan. I get the allure of toting just a single device around instead of a heavy book, especially while traveling, but there is really nothing else like holding a book in your lap under a blanket on a beautiful grey day, or the smell of a library book, or the familiar texture of pages that your own fingers have turned a dozen times before. In addition to that, I am a huge proponent of local libraries. I realize this is viewed by some as anachronistic in present day society, but libraries offer a world to so many people, kids whose parents can't afford to supply them with new books, people who don't have computer access at home, even people who just need to feel a little bit of community. Love my books and my library!

Day 10 - Words of Wisdom and Day 11 - A Photo

 

 

 

I don't know that I have any words of wisdom that have stood out to me over the years, however, lately, when walking the baby while Jack rides his bike, I find myself saying something to him over and over that I really need to heed myself. Lately Jack has a tendency to look behind him to watch me while he's riding in front of me and over and over I'm repeating to him "Baby, you have to stop looking behind you and pay attention to what's in front of you." If I need to listen to anything, especially after this year, this is it. Easier said than done, as with most things.

 

 

As for photos, I could never ever pick a single photo to love. I am so lucky to have photos of my family that go back probably a little over 100 years. I know not many people are so lucky. If I had a scanner I would be showing you many of these photos right now, but you'll have to use your imagination. :) I cherish the photos of my present family, as is obvious with all of the pictures I do share on here, but the old pictures, they hold a special place in my heart, and I can't wait to share with the kids pictures of people like their great-great grandparents. I don't just get to tell stories, they get to see what these people looked like. I am so thankful for all of these photos that I have been entrusted with. 

Day 9 - Food

Funny enough, this is a more apropos topic than seems on the surface. To start, I am so so so incredibly thankful that I in a position to be lucky enough to grow food at home, not because I need to, but because I like to and because it gives me a semblance of pleasure and surprise to see what actually comes up.

 

When you have great sources of fresh fruits and vegetables nearby, you take it for granted. You don't realize how very many people either can't afford fresh fruits and vegetables, or do not have them within an attainable distance. Back when I was working, one of my passions was learning about and speaking about food insecurity, food deserts, edible landscaping and suburban farming.

 

Why this post is so appropriate today is that for the past two weekends, I have spent hours cleaning out my grandparents house, which involved filling a large part of three dumpsters with cans, boxes, and packages of food spanning the past three or four decades or so. My grandmother, as so many from that era, had a Depression-era, WWII era mentality, and had uncountable amounts of foodstuffs packed into cupboards - not hoarding, but "preparing". Unfortunately, most of that food went uneaten and although the food was completely unsafe and inedible, it hurt my heart to throw that much food away, because at one time, it was good and could have fed so many people. It was a great reminder to me to be so thankful for what I have, and tomake sure my family is always taken care of, but after that, to work to make sure others are taken care of as well.