A Very Blessed Christmas

Just wanted to wish everyone a peaceful and blessed Christmas night.

What day is it??

The end of the year seems to be rushing towards everyone with the wind at its back...between some family issues going on and everyone catching the baby's cold - this house could rival the amount of slime produced by Nickelodeon in the 90's  - I have barely had time to stop and wrap presents. For someone who doesn't "work", my goodness, I can't seem to catch a moment - I haven't even watched Scrooged yet this year and that is decidely not cool!!

 

 

We did however, attend Jack's first Christmas program. I should have realized what a lion's den a small room filled with 80+ "adults" trying to watch the 30ish small children in the front of the room would become. Umm, really, people in the FRONT ROW, you don't need to stand up during the whole thing. Ugh...although I am happy to have a record of it, I truly think times were a little easier when not everyone was stepping in front of everyone else to record little Bobby on their iPad.

 

This was one of the few non-blurry ones taken over the lady's head that was standing in the front row...thanks lady. Merry Christmas - I need to watch some Scrooged now.

We have had some exquisite sunsets lately though. Amazing. 

 

Anyway, just wanted to get a short note in before Christmas. Wishing you all enjoyment in the preparations of the next few days and much luck with parking spaces and check out lines!

 

It's still in OUR hands...

 

It's only December 5th, but I have already heard from many people the annual bah humbugging, the Bill Murray Scrooged (one of my most favorite movies ever btw), the boo on Christmas, the "I hate Christmas because it's ... commercial, fake, Christ-centered, not-Christ-centered-enough, overly happy, depressing, encroaches on Thanksgiving, sparkly, not sparkly enough, " etc., etc., etc.

 

I myself have had, in years past, Christmas seasons where I wasn't exactly tilting my wassail cup with joy so I can't begrudge anyone their feelings, but times change and circumstances change and there's not anything that I wouldn't give out of heart, soul and pocket to be here for the next 20 Christmases with my children. So color me overly romantic about the holiday, and I will gladly concur with my donning of red and green-glitter colored glasses. But one thing that sticks in my craw about some of the complaints is this fact - we are still in charge of our households, and to a certain degree, what enters them. So while complaints about decorations going up before Thanksgiving (personally I LIKE going to the mall and seeing lights all over the place - just seeing them makes an unrestrained smile break out on my face. I unabashedly love twinkle lights, I think they should be used in more household decor) may be justifiable to some, the argument of "Christmas is so commercialized therefore I hate it" doesn't hold water for me...in fact I see it as a blatant cop-out.

 I get that I can't control what Jack hears at school or what he learns from his classmates about gifts and what to ask Santa for at Christmas. But I CAN control what enters my home and how I choose to have my family interact with it. Believe me, I get that Jack is three and the baby is 1 - but that's my point - this is the time for my husband and I to try to instill in them what we believe Christmas to be about, and on a larger scale, what we want our family to be about. I'm not making a judgment here - if a family wants to focus on gift giving at Christmas, more power and the Toys R Us catalog to them. But if you are just going to toss your hands up in the air and say "Oh well, Christmas is screwed because it's all commercialized anyway" then I have to call bullshit on that. I say that's teaching your kids that when you don't like something, when you don't agree with how things are run, then you just sit back and complain about it. When did we all cede control of one of our greatest gifts - our family - to some vague corporate overtaking?  It takes some work, but doesn't all of this crazy parenting fiasco we are entrusted with?  Sit down with your kids and a nativity scene and explain it to them, read books, sing carols, visit people, do some of the 8,000 things you have pinned, establish gift giving rules from early on and be firm - this is your family, not your parents, your in-laws, aunts, uncles or cousins. Let's pull up our big girl holly-covered panties whether it's with an overflowing-make-no-excuses-huge-pile-of-presents or whether it's with a tote bag-full but let's own our choices. Our families are still our responsibility, no one else's, and that includes how we choose to celebrate or not.

Closing out the 28 days of thankfulness...and a Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Well, it certainly is more difficult to write everyday about random prompts then I expected. That said, I will do my best to close this out. 

A talent that I have - seriously? I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue! :) Ummm, I'm a pretty good baker, I don't know if that's talent. I'll tell you a talent I would like to have - 1) I would love to be able to draw, paint, etc. I cannot for the life of me and I am jealous of the several family members who are able to do that. It fascinates me to see people draw something, pull something out of their mind and put it on paper because when I try to do that it looks like...well, not good. 2) I have never taken a musical lesson in my life but I would love to learn to play the banjo...and the piano...but the banjo. I know, weird, but whatever. I can just picture myself sitting around a campfire playing songs on my banjo while the snow falls or the starts blanket the sky.

 

A memory - well, thank God I can still remember some memories with my shot brain. I don't have a favorite memory anymore than anything else, but here's one for the season. When I was very little we used to go to my grandmother's cousin's house on Christmas Eve. Seemed like it took a day to get wherever we were going but it was most likely like 40 minutes away. This was the Austrian side of the family and Emmy always imported things for Christmas from Austria - liquor filled chocolates, my favorite pfeffernusse cookies...and the tree was covered in angel hair, and I mean covered...I'm not even sure if the tree was real or not because you couldn't see it it was so covered. After dinner everyone would actually stand around the piano in their swinging 70's caftans and leisure suits and sing carols together and then presents would be opened. She gave the best presents - one year she gave me a child size wooden piano! That was the best, I would play it over and over with the little paper key that came with it. Good times.

 

Anything about fall? Seriously? Well, if you read this then by now you are certainly aware of my life affair with all things fall - except the late heat wave we usually suffer through here in southern California. What in the world is there not to love about fall?

 

The leaves, the coolness, those days that are so blindingly bright but crisp and biting, the apples and pumpkins and cocoa. Aaahhhhhh, fall. My soul breathes deeply every fall.

 

And finally a day of thanks.

 

 

I am thankful to be here to have any holiday with my family. I'm thankful for the ones that I have had in the past. I'm working everyday to be cognizant of remembering my blessings, even and especially when it is difficult to. May all of you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

 

Day 22 - Faith, Day 23 - A Special Day in your Life and Day 24 - Jewelry

 

Goodness sakes, this has been work. Lucky for me, I wrote about faith and thankfulness a little while back so I will just direct you there.


Ugh, I am SO over picking these specific events - I have never ever liked that. Especially as introductory device, like when you are in a new class or a seminar and they say, tell your neighbor your favorite book, or band, or whatever - UGH! Anyway, a special day in my life. Hmmmm, I feel like I should be describing a Judy Blume event here. I'll pick an odd one here - I loved my 19 birthday, it was one of my favorite birthday's ever and I suppose that makes it a "special" day. I was a freshman in college and during my freshman year I lived in a suite, which was three rooms of two girls. Being an only child and just being me, I know I wasn't easy to live with, and some of the other girls had definite "quirks" also. By January, cracks were already creaking open in our suite, but for whatever reason, these girls, and some of my friends across the way, had a great celebration for me. I loved it and will always remember it!

Jewelry, or a piece of jewelry. This one was kind of interesting. I have a necklace that I have had for many many years. My mom gave it to me years ago - I will admit through many moves it has been lost and found multiple times.

 

 

It was my great-grandmother's necklace and supposedly came with her from Austria. As I recall, the story is that it was a gift from the royal family (the Hapsburgs) and is some extravagant stone. It's completely not my style, but I love the story and the lore behind it. I've never even had it appraised because I think I like the lore more than what the actual truth may be. Whatever it is, I'm thankful that I have this tangible link to that side of my family.

Day 20 - A project you did and Day 21 - A dessert

 

 

Seriously, these prompts asking me to cull the shadowy recesses of my chemofied brain to extract things about ME?? Sooooo difficult. A project I did that I am thankful for...hmmm. Okay, here's one I'm glad I did. I beleive I have discussed my disgust for high school previously, just high school itself. However, when our 10 year reunion came around, I found myself volunteering to plan it! Why?? I do not know, but I did, and I'm so glad I did. I think we had a surprising turnout for a 10 year reunion, and like I remarked a few posts back, we lost a few people right after that reunion. I'm pretty proud of myself for taking the reigns and planning that event, which definitely was a project.

 

Dessert I am thankful for?? Oh my, I so cannot pick just one, but my love for chocolate rivals my love for coffee, so anything involving chocolate, coffee, cocoa, etc. is automatically lovely. Throw in some raspberry or cherry...ooooohhhh. I love you dessert.  

Day 18 - A daily indulgence and Day 19- A trip

 

 

The only daily indulgence that I can think of, and I don't think it's an indulgence, I believe it is a necessity, is my lovely coffee. As I wrote on facebook, "ohhhh, my lovely coffee, what would I do without thee? I love you I love you, I am thankful for you, forever be near me...".

 

As far as a trip goes, I have been very fortunate to go quite a few places in my life - not as many as some, but certainly more than many. I am so grateful - I love to travel, preferably in the fall/winter. My husband and I have been snowed on, rained on - doesn't matter. To us that means less people, less crowds and not passing out from heat exhaustion. Having two small children in recent years has quashed our wanderlust slightly, and my being sick last year and this certainly scuttled some plans. We couldn't even visit our in-laws last year, well, mostly because I was having surgeries and chemo - but a plane is a great big cesspool of germs for someone with no immune system and I couldn't chance it. Boy, you do not know how much you miss something until it is forbidden to you. I was soooooo excited to get back on a plane this year just for a short trip I could have jumped for joy (but even I, at barely 5'3", am too tall to be jumping on any plane without cracking my head open). I look forward to many many trips in my future and will be extra thankful for any opportunity that comes my way.

 Somewhere in Vermont I think...



 Jack's first flight - two months old...I hope he loves to travel as much as his mama

 

I think this was outside of Prague

 

 

Day 16 - A shining moment and Day 17 - Health

A shining moment - jeez, they pick hard topics don't they? These ones that make us think back on our own good moments, those are truly difficult for me.

 

I don't know about a shining moment, but I look back at going to grad school at night when I was working full time and wonder how I ever had the energy to do that...I'm proud of myself for keeping with it and completing it, it was a great feeling when it was done, that's for sure.

Health - well, this one is interesting isn't it? My health...Aside from everything this year and last, aside from the fact that I really truly don't know my exact health status day to day and never really will again...I am pretty healthy. My doctors have all said I'm a really healthy patient who had some pretty frickin serious cancer. I am thankful that I came through it, well, cut up into pieces but relatively unscathed and without many problems at all. I am and will be drop-down-on-your-knees thankful for every clean scan I ever have and I will pray everyday to remain so. You can't ever appreciate being healthy until you aren't, it's just something that the human mind is unable to fully process until it experiences different. I am truly gratful for every day that I open my eyes.

To those who comment on my Christmas posts...

Christmas 2012

To those who have commented on my admittedly prolific liking of Christmas pages and talking about Christmas songs and basically my overall overexcitability about Christmas this year...with no malice in my heart and the best of meanings...stuff it.

I don't comment when people post 45 political posts in a day, or share 18 ramblings about how they hate Christmas. I don't comment about people and their 52 pinterest ecard posts about wine. Yet for some reason people feel compelled to comment on my sharing of what I feel is joyful...yes, it may be early - yes, I truly realize it is not Thanksgiving yet, but you know what? I effectively missed the holidays last year. I was there, but I wasn't there...I wasn't able to fully participate. I saw my kids, but didn't get to fully experience Jack's 2 year old wonder at the lights and Santa and stocking and elves. I had my two month old, but I was so busy taking care of her, and recovering from two surgeries, and going through chemo that I didn't get to soak in my baby girl's first Christmas. I didn't get to decorate, I didn't get to sing carols at church, I didn't get to feel Christmas. I didn't get the luxury of Bah Humbugging it because I was praying too hard to make it to this Christmas.

So forgive me for my giddiness, for my wanting to share the fact that I am happily and unabashedly overcelebrating the holidays this year. Forgive me my liking of many many Christmas posts, of snow and trees and wreaths and candles. Forgive me my inability to throw away any precious holiday that I am given with my children. I don't begrudge you your existence in the benign and blissful obliviousness that total health brings. I used to live there myself, but I have moved...and at my new address, you will find me overcelebrating most anything I can.

Day 14 - A life lesson and Day 15 - Charity

These are getting a bit more difficult. A life lesson. Well, I think I will go with the obvious here and talk about how this dumb, stupid cancer, which I STILL WILL NEVER EVER SAY I WAS HAPPY TO GET, has made me slow down and relax a bit, and for those that know me, that's saying a lot. I do let many many things go that I wouldn't have before, and I try very hard to remain present in each day although I'm only human. It's a work in progress.

 

I'm not quite sure what they mean by charity, if they mean were you thankful to receive charity, are you thankful for a specific charity. Unclear. But the Christmas season is upon us, and that means Angel Trees, which I do every year. I grew up relatively poor.  I was from a single parent household, did not grow up in a nice place...but one thing my mom always did, for as long as I can remember, was take an angel or two at Christmas and we would get gifts for them. I would look forward to picking an angel every year at the Fox Hills Mall...the program stopped there as I recall in the early 90s, and by then you pretty much stayed away from that mall if you didn't want to get shot while picking your jeans out at Express. I would find various programs over the years, and was involved in Toys for Tots, but then when I moved to Huntington Beach when I met my husband, my first Christmas there I discovered my church had an angel tree program and I was so excited! I still do it every year (my church gives you an angel ornament when you drop off the gifts - I have not missed one for the past 12 or 13 years and last year when I couldn't make it, I begged my friend to take my gifts for me because I needed my ornament!) and I love that they include seniors also. People forget how lonely some seniors can be, and that maybe a package of socks and a sweatshirt is so appreciated. I can't wait until the kids begin to understand what we are doing when we do this, it truly excited me to pass this tradition on to them.