Thursday, March 6, 2014

The most important piece...

After my little breakdown yesterday, as I sat on the couch last night trying to explain to my husband why I was so sad, why it was one of my bad days, he reminded me that I was forgetting the piece of this puzzle that I have held on to from the beginning, one of the first things my doctor said to me. That even though the medical community is based on a platform of statistics, numbers, algorithms, percentages, and calculations because they have to be, I do not. I am not a number or a statistic. This is my story and as tragic and horrible and awful and unfair as some other people's stories are, as similar as they are to my own - those are not my stories. This is my story and right now my story is that I'm fine. I'm okay.  I'm 39 and I'm a mom and a wife and I've been through some crappy stuff. I'm tired and I lose my patience and I try to figure out this mothering thing everyday, because really, if anyone knows the secret to one and three year old crazy I'd be willing to pay. I'm happy and weird and I like to sing loudly in my car...and at home. I'm super-sensitive and I cry easily at many many things. I do not take shit from anyone very easily and my 5'2" self has been known to scare things much larger. Cancer is part of my story, but I will not let it be my whole story. This is MY story - the story of one.


  1. Hi Jamie. I've followed your story since I came across your blog on Baby Rabies, and I've always appreciated how you are so transparent in your thoughts and feelings. I just wanted to let you know that cancer sucks and I think you are awesome. Awesomeness outweights suckiness. Hope today goes better.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words Sara...I have to remind myself, as many of my fellow cancer sisters do, that we have bad days just like everyone else...that we had bad days before cancer and that it's one can be happy all the time, especially at sad news. But just like before and just like everyone else, we just pick ourselves up and go on with the next day. Because that's just what we all do!

  2. rock on sister!! dont feel bad about having a bad day