Tuesday, October 29, 2013

A fall birthday...

This is a long time coming due to a missing, then non-working camera cable...but here we go finally!
Baby girl's first birthday party - obviously having a baby to celebrate in the month of October is going to be wonderful...for me at least, maybe not for her eventually. So I had to have a fall themed party - what else? And it was actually pretty stress free - I mean, the house is already decorated for fall/halloween, so I just had to add some things here and there...
Easy decoration - tissue paper pom poms

A book for guests to sign
The welcome wagon...

Caramel apple party favors - easy and delicious

More easy tissue paper pom poms...I think they are a little classier than balloons right?

Crafts to keep Jack and his friends occupied for a bit

The birthday girl...still deciding that she could crawl faster than walk at that point...although that has started to change this past week.
Marshmellow fondant leaves - this recipe is soooo easy and doesn't taste that bad!
Birthday girl could not understand why everyone was singing to and staring at her at that point

Hmmm, this feels interesting...

But I don't think I will actually taste it for a while...
The boys are over celebrating a one year old girl....
Family shot...Happy first birthday to my baby girl - I eagerly look forward to many more with you.


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

One year ago...

A year ago, a large team of NICU doctors stood in a delivery room with nothing to do, amazed that this month-early girl needed not one iota of help and was in fact healthier and bigger then many term babies. To my little chemo-sabe, my little buggy boodles, you gave me more strength than you will ever ever know and I look forward to many many more birthdays with you. Happy happy first birthday my girl.
I wish for you so many things I cannot even articulate them. I wish for you the world. I wish for you joy and pain and laughter and tears. I want to see you dance and sing and grow and learn. I want to hug you and kiss you a billion more times. I wish to see you follow your big brother to school. I wish to see you do wonderful things and get into trouble. I long to see those amazing blue eyes ingest everything they can. My big girl, I wish to see you grow up.
Thank you for this year.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

What I think about the Pink...

Since I am "lucky" enough to have to share my most favorite month with breast cancer awareness month, well, here are my thoughts. As most of you are aware the world has been splashed with a heaping tablespoon of pepto bismol pink - which makes some of us feel about the same as the people in the pepto commercial. Not everyone...much of our cancer tribe has differing views on the subject...some loathe it, some embrace it, and some like me are conflicted about it.

I can honestly say pre-bc I didn't give pink-tober a whole lot of thought. Even though my mom and my grandmother have both had breast cancer, it still didn't really impact me...my mom had what I term (and please save your speeches, I know people who would stab me for saying this) "cancer-lite", she had stage 0, which just resulted in lumpectomy, no chemo, no rads, nothing else. My grandmother had a mastectomy - no chemo, no rads-  but that was over 30 years ago. We still have no idea what stage, what kind, nothing other then it never returned...people just didn't really talk about things like that back then. So honestly, other than seeing my football teams with their pink accoutrement's and seeing pink ribbons everywhere, the whole pink-washing didn't really effect my awareness all that much - likely my undoing. Because I always expected that I would get cancer, I was prepared to be vigilant...in my 40s. I expected it when my grandmother and mom got it, in my late '50s. Certainly not at 37 and most definitely not while pregnant. Surprise - joke was on me!

So here I am (I don't count last year because during pink-tober I was hip deep in trying to make sure this baby came out ok, prepare for upcoming mastectomy, continued chemo, and not quite concerned about much else) looking at the pink-washing as...an observer? a participant? an unwilling consort? I don't know. What I do know is that most of the products that slap a pink ribbon on their label are things I wouldn't eat/drink/ingest in any way, shape or form. You think I'm eating/drinking any of that processed crap after I've had CANCER?? No.

Do I appreciate that people walk for and with me at the Komen walk? Of course I do. Would I mind if people thought of me when seeing a ribbon or wore pink in honor of me or showed support that way? of course not!

What I do know is that not wearing a bra on Oct. 13th is in no way showing any sort of awareness, support or camaraderie with those who have breast cancer - it's just making you look, ummm, well, not good likely. (Should we all be going commando in support of prostate cancer awareness? Have all the young starlets flashing their hoohas at the cameras really been supporting cervical cancer awareness all along?) What I do know is playing some dumb game about the color of your bra on facebook is not doing anything other than...playing some stupid game on facebook. If you want to sport a pink ribbon, especially in honor or memory of someone, be my guest. If you want to donate money, please do your research and find the charities whose money does the most good. If you want to make me happy- learn about the signs, check yourself, learn about density and mammograms, advocate for yourself and please go to the doctor if anything is ever amiss - remember what I've been through this year. Know that behind the pretty pink ribbon, there are bald heads and scars and drains and IVs, there is pain and tears and not always happy endings. Cancer is not pretty, it's not pink, it's not sexy, it's awful. I will have my beautiful October tainted pink forever...you don't have to.