Not only do I not get to partake of the wonderful caloric benefits of nursing this time around, the steroids I get make me gain weight. It's so much fun to go to chemo every week, get on the scale, and see a pound higher. So I get to be disfugured, post-partum, fat, and on top of it, really frickin hot! I don't know if this is a common side effect or not, and this is not hot flashes, this is "I feel like it's 95 degrees all the time, regardless of whether it's 78 out like it has been the past two days, or whether it's in the 30's at night". Fun! I am literally kicking off sheets and sweating when it's about 55 in our bedroom at night. I am convinced the baby is burning up because I can't quite get the fact that it's only me that feels this and that everyone else is feeling rather wintery (well, minus the past two days). Thank goodness my hair is growing out and if I'm feeling rather kicky I can go without a hat because when I go for my daily walk I come back and am sweating through my inch of hair.
Okay, that's enough complaining...what I'm thankful for: that those same steroids that are making me even fatter seem to also be keeping at bay the lovely cooties my son has been bringing home lately; that I truly hopefully only have three more weeks of dealing with this picc line because we are just not getting along anymore; that we do have a relatively easy baby with all of this other stuff going on, and that her sweet face and smiles give me something to look forward to.
You are an incredible realist and I am so impressed with your is what it is attitude and ability to still throw in some humor. Hang in there...you are a bigger inspiration than I think you have any idea! Thoughts and prayers with you
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