Tuesday, July 9, 2013


Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me....has to be the biggest load of bullshit ever foisted on someone. Some of you may have read this post roaming around the internet right now. I read this earlier this week and it was especially poignant because last week I got into an argument on facebook about the dumb "what color bra are you wearing" secret code game that's supposed to miraculously create awareness about breast cancer if you post - and "Don't tell anyone what it means girls!!" Actually, I didn't get into an argument, all I said was something to the effect of "I'm aware enough thanks", and then was challenged by a family member about posting for others who are not aware. I stated my opinion - how does this raise awareness, this is a game about a serious subject, this is my life right now, it's not a joke, if you want to raise awareness go do a walk, donate some money, post about self exams or mammograms or something. Anyway, the original family member signed off but another one came on telling me I was being condescending in telling people how to raise awareness, that people care and they should do what they want...and the topper - that I have my life, so basically I should shut up and not dare to contradict anyone. Yep, this is all from family members. People who, if I posted something that they had an issue with and a direct link to and they asked me to take it down or not participate, I would not even hesitate to do as asked. If I posted something about some pseudo-autism campaign and was asked to not participate for whatever reason - they didn't like the message, they don't like blue anymore, they don't like puzzle pieces -whatever! - I would say of course, I'm so sorry, I didn't think of that. If I posted something about stomach cancer, cervical cancer, prostate, pancreatic, colon, brain, whatever cancer and was asked to take it down I would do so right away, no questions asked, no challenges, nothing. But you know what - I OWN THE BREAST CANCER PART OF THIS SCENARIO. The fact that family members challenged me, questioned me, and attacked me hit me harder than I thought it would and the whole "you really find out who your true friends are" hit me smack in the face.

1 comment:

  1. I rarely post on social media or blogs or anything the public can read because I'm always nervous about sounding illiterate or just plain stupid. And let's face it, people tend to become somewhat crazed when they can hide behind the computer.

    You and I don't always agree but I always have respected your opinion. It's yours and you own it. On this particular topic, you and I are aligned. It is a game and it's a way for people to feign breast cancer awareness by saying "breast cancer awareness". And that's my opinion.

    I know that you've written a blog about words like "warrior" being used in breast cancer and you don't feel it's appropriate. I feel that words can have powerful magic in how you say them and how you use them and the word "warrior" defines you to me.

    I have truly admired your blog and how you put yourself and your experience out there. You have an amazing intelligence and a very strong passion for what you believe in. Your blog helped me keep on top of what was going on with you without my having to text you every 12 minutes, LOL. But it became much more than just knowing what was going on with you. It has been a learning tool for me and made me very breast cancer aware of the little things that can be big things.

    Last week I went to get my hair cut at my usual salon. The stylist that works next to mine, who has long, gorgeous red hair, had a shaved head with a cap on. PJBC (Pre-Jamie Breast Cancer) I would have politely averted my eyes and pretended to ignore her shaved head. But this was AJBC (After Jamie Breast Cancer), so I asked her what was going on and was she okay. My stylist gasped... a little too much effrontery? We chatted for a few moments and yes, she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm a very private person and always worried about saying the wrong thing. But at 56, because of what I've learned from you and your wisdom and experience, I've grown and I'm changing and still learning. I will never again avert my eyes when someone is 'different' from the norm in front of me.

    It takes guts and courage to write a blog Jamie. Don't let anyone derail you from the good words you write. And don't let those tender feelings get bruised. Not everyone is going to like you or the message you deliver.

    Many years ago, when someone in the family had hurt me rather deeply, your mom told me, "oh Gina, when you get to be 40, you just won't care" (I'm cleaning up the language). But you know what? She was right.

    And sometimes, whether friends or family, you just simply outgrow people and it's time to savor the experience you had with them and move on.