Wednesday, October 3, 2012

time flies....

Wow, sorry, time does fly when you are very pregnant and dealing with cancer and it's the hottest summer ever. This morning there was fog when I woke up....fog! I was so happy! So, delivery is scheduled, surgery is scheduled for Nov. 20th, and then we proceed from there. Surgery is a later than I would have liked it, however, in reality it's only 2 weeks later than I would have liked.
My oncologist is convinced that is fine, and that I'm going to be fine, she is truly convinced. My husband thinks it's fine, that I will have a few more days to heal from the c-section, chill with the baby, etc etc. Me, being the one with this stuff actually in my body, logically knows that I have had a tremendous response to the chemo, especially for a triple-negative, and that my progress is very heartening, and I should "enjoy" it, if that's the right emotion, which it's not. But again, cancer is a big huge mind-f*$# and it really doesn't let you think things like that. So hopefully those days will go by quickly, and I will be in surgery before I have too much time to think about it. Or at the very least I will be deleriously tired from having a newborn and recovering from the c-section and time will pass before I know it that way. So, I guess I just need extra prayers between delivery and surgery that all of this cumulative chemo in me hangs around and things at the very least stay where they are.

Baby girl is totally ready to come out, even early. She's already pushing six pounds, she has a ton of hair apparently, and chemo has been like human growth factor for her, which I very much feel and am totally over being pregnant. Unfortunately I am not one of the those women who are "built" to be pregnant, the ones who enjoy every minute and wish they could keep the baby in, that's not me. I do however, promise that I did not set up this whole cancer thing just to deliver a month early. :)

1 comment:

  1. Hi, nice post. I have been wondering about this topic, so thanks for sharing. I will certainly be subscribing to your blog.hgh