Thankful.

This is a struggle for me to write. Not because I am not thankful for things, but because not only has my body been broken, my spirit has honestly suffered a few cracks. I am trying to recover not only in body but in soul too.  So I think it behooves me to find what I am thankful for to bring a bit of light into the darkness.

This year has sucked. I will never be one to say "I'm so happy I got cancer, it changed my life!" Honestly I think I could have learned the lessons another way. But I did receive a wonderful blessing in this little bundle of perfectness, even though I do think about selling her at three in the morning. We are blessed that she was healthy and strong and big and seems to have suffered no ill effects from mama's illness.

 

 

 

 

 

This little boy is my heart and soul. I am beyond belief that I get to be his mother and watch him grow into a little man. 

 

 

 

 

 

I am thankful for the man sitting beside him, that has stuck by his broken and battered wife, celebrating when I am strong and trying to put the pieces back together when I break.

 

I am thankful for my mom, who has put her worries into cooking good food for me. I am thankful for my in-laws who have come out here during my surgeries to help with whatever I needed and more. I am so thankful to friends and family who have come over here to help in many different ways, who have taken time to just ask how I am, who have sent up prayers and good intentions. I am thankful for my doctors who have followed me so closely since this started, who cheer for me. I am thankful to the cyber community, who came together to help me feed my child.

 

I very much realize that there has been light in darkness, joy in despair, goodness in a pit of cruelty. I send up a wish for next Thanksgiving, a wish for a lighter heart, a wish for less worries, a wish for good health. I wish that for all of you as well.